And now, a few words from . . . Louise Beal

Love thy neighbour as yourself, but choose your neighbourhood.

And now, a few words from . . . Honoré de Balzac

Behind every great fortune there is a crime.

And now, a few words from . . . George Burns

You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.

And now, a few words from . . . Napoleon Bonaparte

Four hostile newspapers are more to be feared than a thousand bayonets.

And now, a few words from . . . George Burns

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

And now, a few words from . . . Edmund Burke

Manners are of more importance than laws.

And now, a few words from . . . H. Jackson Brown Jr.

You can get by on charm for about 15 minutes. After that, you better know something.

And now, a few words from . . . Erma Bombeck

There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.

And now, a few words from . . . Napoleon Bonaparte

Never interrupt your enemy when he’s making a mistake.

And now, a few words from . . . Ambrose Bierce

The covers of this book are too far apart.

And now, a few words from . . . Jeremy Bentham

The day may come when the rest of the animal creation may acquire those rights which never could have been withholden from them but by the hand of tyranny.

And now, a few words from . . . Ernest Benn

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy.

And now, a few words from . . . Henry Ward Beecher

A library is not a luxury but one of the necessities of life.

And now, a few words from . . . Dave Barry

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

And now, a few words from . . . Erma Bombeck

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

And now, a few words from . . . Honoré de Balzac

Bureaucracy is a giant mechanism operated by pygmies. 

And now, a few words from . . . Bilbo Baggins

Roads go ever ever on.

And now, a few words from . . . Dave Barry

The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery.  They're the kind of people who'd stop to help you change a flat, but would somehow manage to set your car on fire . . . .The Republicans, on the other hand, would know how to fix your tire, but they wouldn't bother to stop because they'd want to be on time for Ugly Pants Night at the country club.

And now, a few words from . . . Napoleon Bonaparte

History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.

And now, a few words from . . . Anthony Bourdain

Your body is not a temple, it's an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.