Nielsen nonsense

We’re all familiar with the TV ratings compiled by the Nielsen Company, but from time to time I’ve wondered how such research is conducted.

Now I have even more questions than I did before.

At least twice in the past few weeks, my wife Liz and I have received phone calls from Nielsen, inviting us to participate in the firm’s ratings program by tracking and reporting what we watch. We have no interest in doing this, so we didn’t answer the phone and we ignored the company’s voice-mail messages.

Despite our inaction, I received a card in the mail from the Nielsen Company the other day thanking us “for being a Nielsen TV ratings household.” I was instructed to start keeping my (nonexistent) “TV survey” on a specific day, and told that complete instructions on how to do so were to be found inside the (nonexistent) survey.

If we somehow became a “Nielsen TV ratings household” without our consent, and if we’re now being told to start recording our TV picks on a form we never received, does that mean something purporting to be a log of our viewing habits will mysteriously turn up in the Nielsen ratings?

I don't really care, as long as the Nielsen folks don't claim that we watch any shows featuring one or more Kardashians. Cause them's fightin' words.