Are all bureaucracies maddeningly inefficient? Or does an institution - in this case, a utility - have to reach gargantuan proportions before it ensnares its customers in a Wonderland-like parallel universe?
National Grid is “an international electricity and gas company and one of the largest investor-owned energy companies in the world,” according to its web site. So I should have realized from the get-go that getting this outfit to disconnect the gas and electricity at my late mother’s newly sold house in Massachusetts would not be a pleasant experience.
Having tracked down a toll-free number on an old bill, I called National Grid on Sept. 18 in the naive belief that someone at that number could close both accounts. No such luck. The service rep told me she could disconnect the gas, but I’d have to call a different number to shut off the electricity.
National Grid is “an international electricity and gas company and one of the largest investor-owned energy companies in the world,” according to its web site. So I should have realized from the get-go that getting this outfit to disconnect the gas and electricity at my late mother’s newly sold house in Massachusetts would not be a pleasant experience.
Having tracked down a toll-free number on an old bill, I called National Grid on Sept. 18 in the naive belief that someone at that number could close both accounts. No such luck. The service rep told me she could disconnect the gas, but I’d have to call a different number to shut off the electricity.
In an era when everyone can access everything with the click of a mouse, this made no sense to me, but what the hell. This is National Grid, "one of the largest investor-owned energy companies in the world." I, on the other hand, am a mere human. No contest.
Gassy Gloria, as I like to call the first customer disservice representative I dealt with, asked for some basic information, including the last four digits of my Social Security number, which I gave her. Once she verified that I was who I said I was (namely, the guy who’s been paying the bills lo these many months), Gassy Gloria and I had the following exchange.
Gassy Gloria, as I like to call the first customer disservice representative I dealt with, asked for some basic information, including the last four digits of my Social Security number, which I gave her. Once she verified that I was who I said I was (namely, the guy who’s been paying the bills lo these many months), Gassy Gloria and I had the following exchange.
"When would you like to end service?"
"Immediately."
"I can’t do that. The soonest date on which we can end service is September 25th."
"Really? Why can’t you close the account now, or at least sooner than September 25?"
"The earliest date on which we can end service is September 25th."
"Yes, you said that before. But why can't you do it until September 25th?"
"The earliest date on which we can end service is September 25th."
"Okay, fine. September 25th."
Hanging up, I then called National Grid's telephone number for electric service, where I was connected to a woman I like to call Kathy Kilowatt.
"Can I have your account number please?"
"I don’t have it with me."
"Can I have your Social Security number please?"
"Why do you need my full Social Security number? The woman I talked to a minute ago to shut off the gas only asked for the last four digits."
"That’s a different department."
"But you’re both part of the same company, right?"
"That’s a different department."
"Well, why don’t you have the same rules for verifying information, if you’re all part of the same company?"
"That’s a different department."
"Okay. Could I speak to a supervisor please?"
"You’d like to speak to a supervisor?"
"Yes."
"Let me put you on hold while I check to see if one is available."
"Okay. Thanks."
"There isn’t a supervisor available. Would you like one to call you back?"
Suspecting that there was little, if any, chance of ever getting such a call, I gave Kathy Kilowatt my Social Security number, so she could call up my record.
Then, the kicker.
Suspecting that there was little, if any, chance of ever getting such a call, I gave Kathy Kilowatt my Social Security number, so she could call up my record.
Then, the kicker.
"Your account was closed yesterday," she said, "when someone else started service in their name."
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