Reader alert: I’m about to tell you more about canine "calling cards" than you probably want to know, so unless you’re a real dog lover, you may want to take a pass on this one. Although the Shakespearean reference may make it all worthwhile for you. Then again, maybe not.
Every weekday morning at 5 o’clock or so, I grab a hat and a jacket, stick two plastic bags in my pocket, and take the dogs out for their early-morning constitutionals. Martha, the impatient two year old, goes first. Once she’s back in the house, I head out with five-year-old Aquinnah.
It doesn’t take much imagination to figure out what the bags are for. Two dogs. Two bags. Two walks. Fill in the blanks.
This arrangement works perfectly 9 times out of 10. Recently, though, Martha had what is known in our house as “a double.” She did what dogs do, which I dutifully bagged. Then she walked a few yards and decided there was more work to be done in the solid-waste department. This is a rare, but not unheard of, occurrence. I dutifully bagged the second deposit as well.
Returning home, I saddled up Aquinnah and we headed out. Normally, I’d still have one clean bag in my pocket, but thanks to Martha’s high level of productivity, I had already used both bags.
It was only when Aquinnah was doing his business on a grassy strip adjacent to a public sidewalk that I realized I was - heaven forbid - bagless! Not only that, but there was a pedestrian heading our way. She was too far off to say anything, but close enough to see me sheepishly walk away with Aquinnah after he had completed his task.
I think it was King Richard III who said: “A Baggie, a Baggie! My kingdom for a Baggie!”
Well, I may not have that quite right, but you get the idea.
Every weekday morning at 5 o’clock or so, I grab a hat and a jacket, stick two plastic bags in my pocket, and take the dogs out for their early-morning constitutionals. Martha, the impatient two year old, goes first. Once she’s back in the house, I head out with five-year-old Aquinnah.
It doesn’t take much imagination to figure out what the bags are for. Two dogs. Two bags. Two walks. Fill in the blanks.
This arrangement works perfectly 9 times out of 10. Recently, though, Martha had what is known in our house as “a double.” She did what dogs do, which I dutifully bagged. Then she walked a few yards and decided there was more work to be done in the solid-waste department. This is a rare, but not unheard of, occurrence. I dutifully bagged the second deposit as well.
Returning home, I saddled up Aquinnah and we headed out. Normally, I’d still have one clean bag in my pocket, but thanks to Martha’s high level of productivity, I had already used both bags.
It was only when Aquinnah was doing his business on a grassy strip adjacent to a public sidewalk that I realized I was - heaven forbid - bagless! Not only that, but there was a pedestrian heading our way. She was too far off to say anything, but close enough to see me sheepishly walk away with Aquinnah after he had completed his task.
I think it was King Richard III who said: “A Baggie, a Baggie! My kingdom for a Baggie!”
Well, I may not have that quite right, but you get the idea.
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