It's only a matter of time before the inevitable happens. So what should I do when I get my first drone?
Should I use it to terrorize the self-important cyclists who verbally abuse startled pedestrians by needlessly screaming “on your left” as they race by on wide walking trails, desperately trying to fulfill Tour de France fantasies?
Should I use it to terrorize the self-important cyclists who verbally abuse startled pedestrians by needlessly screaming “on your left” as they race by on wide walking trails, desperately trying to fulfill Tour de France fantasies?
Maybe I should turn it loose on motorists who continue playing with their phones at intersections after the red light turns green?
What about tailgaters? A precisely targeted drone that swoops down on them could provide a well-earned scare.
Then there are the myopic shoppers who block supermarket aisles with their carts while they study the nutritional info on 10 different cereal boxes.
Not to mention the slobs who never mow their lawns.
Lazy gluttons who refuse to diet or exercise, but complain about their weight.
Parents who completely ignore little Johnny's very public temper tantrums.
Or how about litterbugs? Xenophobes? Misguided souls who view skepticism as a vice rather than a virtue?
I'm sure I'd enjoy a drone-produced video of chronically loud jerks who misplaced their indoor voice long ago, if they ever had one.
Or a nice tight shot of blabbermouths who jabber in movie theaters. And some footage of happy-face types telling complete strangers to smile.
A dive bombing drone might distract self-absorbed folks who believe that the rest of us all share their interests, and that whatever bores them bores everyone else.
Perhaps religious zealots who insist America is a Christian nation would make for a better target.
Or gullible people who take everything they read online at face value, regardless of the source.
The entire crop of presidential candidates could use a good jolt (with the possible exception of Bernie Sanders). So, too, politicians in general.
TV news anchors. Internet trolls. Scribblers who can’t spell but refuse to use a dictionary. Anyone who is, or has been, in any way connected with any reality TV show. Ever.
Not to mention the slobs who never mow their lawns.
Lazy gluttons who refuse to diet or exercise, but complain about their weight.
Parents who completely ignore little Johnny's very public temper tantrums.
Or how about litterbugs? Xenophobes? Misguided souls who view skepticism as a vice rather than a virtue?
I'm sure I'd enjoy a drone-produced video of chronically loud jerks who misplaced their indoor voice long ago, if they ever had one.
Or a nice tight shot of blabbermouths who jabber in movie theaters. And some footage of happy-face types telling complete strangers to smile.
A dive bombing drone might distract self-absorbed folks who believe that the rest of us all share their interests, and that whatever bores them bores everyone else.
Perhaps religious zealots who insist America is a Christian nation would make for a better target.
Or gullible people who take everything they read online at face value, regardless of the source.
The entire crop of presidential candidates could use a good jolt (with the possible exception of Bernie Sanders). So, too, politicians in general.
TV news anchors. Internet trolls. Scribblers who can’t spell but refuse to use a dictionary. Anyone who is, or has been, in any way connected with any reality TV show. Ever.
The list goes on and on. I wonder how much storage space I’d need for an entire fleet of curmudgeon-avenging drones? It sounds like a costly proposition, but I'd be one happy grumpy guy.
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