Things fall apart

It’s always disconcerting to see how thin the veneer is separating the orderly functioning of society from chaos and mayhem.

I was walking one of our dogs on a beautiful afternoon yesterday when a pickup truck made an illegal left turn around a traffic island. Motorists make this tight turn all the time because the alternative would delay them about 60 seconds, and obviously that’s unacceptable to the 21st-century driver.

As I said, the illegal turn is very tight, which poses no problem for small and mid-sized cars. But because this guy was driving a large pickup, he could not complete the turn without driving up to the curb, stopping and backing into traffic. He then had to put the truck in drive or first gear, turn his wheel to the left and proceed down the street.

This process takes about 10 or 15 seconds, but that was too much of a delay for the motorist who ended up behind F-250 as he was completing his three-point turn. The second motorist honked his horn at F-250, who was angered to learn that someone else was as impatient as he was. So F-250 made his turn and then stopped in the middle of the street, where he parked his truck.

This, apparently, was intended as a reprimand to Hornblower, to punish him for honking his horn. Of course, Hornblower leaned on his horn again when F-250 blocked the road. So F-250 jumped out of his truck, stormed over to Hornblower, who remained in his car, and began screaming insults that included every conceivable variation of the “f’ word: fuck, fucker, fucking, fuck you, fuck off, etc.

By now, there was a growing line of cars behind Hornblower. Eventually F-250, having run out of fucking variants, got back into his truck and sped off.

How can two adults lose it so easily? F-250 was at fault for making a three-point illegal turn, so why didn’t he just drive off after completing it? Hornblower could see that F-250 would finish the turn in a matter of seconds, so why couldn’t be let F-250 do his thing without honking at him?

Instead, shouts and curses filled the afternoon air. What if one, or both, drivers had been armed? What if Hornblower had emerged from his car and started brawling with F-250 in the middle of the street? And what are any children who may have witnessed this loony lapse going to think about how best to resolve conflicts in their own lives?

It only took a matter of seconds for the smooth flow of traffic to deteriorate into a silly confrontation, reminding us that the world is full of people who are ticking time bombs of pent-up anger and hostility. Delay their arrival at Dunkin' Donuts by a few seconds, and all hell breaks loose.

"I'll have two Boston creams and a large coffee with extra sugar, to calm my nerves. And hurry it up, will ya?"